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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24337111">Books</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sardonyx164/pseuds/sardonyx164'>sardonyx164</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Operation Domiciliate (Discordant Opponents Must Ignore Conflict Lest Infinity Arranges Terrible Execution) [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Codename: Kids Next Door</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Eldritch Artifacts, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Get A Hold Of Yourself Man, Hurt/Comfort, Screenplay/Script Format, physical assault</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-20 06:48:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,580</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24337111</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sardonyx164/pseuds/sardonyx164</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Nigel and Chad find an odd yet dangerous book.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Nigel Uno &amp; Chad Dickson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Operation Domiciliate (Discordant Opponents Must Ignore Conflict Lest Infinity Arranges Terrible Execution) [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1730308</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Operation Friend</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Books</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I also never intended for this story to be topical too, considering that a certain someone is trying to revive a certain series of hers.<br/>Like...I wanted to write a fic where Nigel and Chad work together to defeat a common enemy (or at least going for the whole "The only one that hurts you is me" trope), right? And I thought that a cursed book was the best way I could that.</p><p>I was originally going to have an alien disguised as Numbuh 363 just walk right into the house and start insulting the two housemates, but this plot didn't really go anywhere, and I figured it would raise more questions than answers.</p><p>Some useful and relevant links [contains strong language, various triggers, and...outdated language; the latest one was written in 2012]:<br/>https://das-sporking.livejournal.com/99098.html</p><p>https://das-sporking.livejournal.com/88377.html</p><p>https://das-sporking.livejournal.com/151027.html</p><p>https://das-sporking.livejournal.com/256451.html</p><p>https://das-sporking.livejournal.com/292268.html</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>[Scene: the kitchen. Nigel and Chad are happily eating their lunch </em> <em>(</em> <em>which consists of fish, chips, strawberries, and chamomile tea</em> <em>)</em> <em>]</em></p><p><b>Chad:</b> So, how’s your lunch?</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> Oh, it’s superb, Chad! It feels nice to have this combination of meals again!</p><p><b>Chad:</b> And how are you feeling emotionally?</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> Much better, thank you.</p><p><b>Chad:</b> That’s good to hear.</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> How about you? How are you doing?</p><p><strong>Chad:</strong> [quietly] Well, I'm--</p><p><em>[Nigel is abruptly interrupted by </em> <em>a knock on the front door</em> <em>]</em></p><p><b>Nigel:</b> Um, is that Numbuh Infinity?</p><p><b>Chad:</b>...You better check Channel 275 to be sure.</p><p><b>Nigel: </b>What? Why do <em>I </em>have to do it?</p><p><b>Chad:</b> Because <em>I’m</em> still eating. Now hurry up and check the television.</p><p><em>[Nigel </em> <em>raises an eyebrow, but he doesn’t say anything. He just</em> <em> goes to the living room and turns the television to Channel 275, where </em> <em>he</em> <em> sees Numbuh Infinity happily writing on a piece of paper]</em></p><p><b>Nigel: </b>Numbuh Infinity, sir?</p><p><b>Infinity: </b>[looking up from his work] Ah, Numbuh One. I am very proud of--</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> Sir, I’m sorry to interrupt, but...we, uh, heard someone knocking on the door...?</p><p>
  <em>[A sound like someone banging their fist on the door is heard. Nigel, Chad, and Numbuh Infinity all jump at the sudden noise]</em>
</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> See?! That’s what we heard! Except it wasn’t as loud!</p><p><b>Chad:</b> [calling out from the kitchen] Hey, Nigel! You want me to see what’s going on outside?</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> [calling back to Chad] Sure!</p><p><b>Infinity: </b>[fearfully] No no no, wait! Don’t--</p><p><em>[Channel 275 suddenly turns to stati</em><em>c. Nigel rubs his eyes out of confusion. </em> <em>Chad </em> <em>perplexingly</em> <em> stares at the static filled television from the kitchen before shaking his head and heading outside]</em></p><p><b>Nigel:</b> What was that about...? [he hears Chad returning inside] Um, Chad? Mind reporting your findings?</p><p><b>Chad:</b> Uh...there wasn’t anybody around. But...[holding up an unfamiliar comic book]...I <em>did</em> find this odd book on our doorstep. Seems like it’s Rainbow Monkey themed or something. [Nigel perks up] Hmm, these are nice looking cover pages. The apples, flowers, and hourglasses really complement the chess pieces and ribbons...</p><p><b>Nigel</b>: [excitedly] Can I read that book?! Oh please, oh please?!</p><p><b>Chad:</b> [strictly] Nigel, <em>no</em>. You don’t know who gave us this book. [holding the book abouve his head] For all we know, it could hold stuff that we weren’t meant to see.</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> But I’m <em>curious!</em> [trying to reach for the book] Let me see that book!</p><p>
  <em>[Chad kisses Nigel on the nose, which makes the younger boy freeze up and blush. The book in Chad’s hand rumbles lightly, but Chad doesn’t notice it]</em>
</p><p><b>Chad:</b> [patting Nigel on the scalp] I care about you, kid. I don’t want to see you get hurt, okay? That’s why I’m hiding this book where you can’t find it. Just...go watch television and I’ll take care of this book, alright? [kissing Nigel’s scalp] Love you. [he feels the book rumbling a bit] What the heck? Is this book holding some sort of evil being, that’s why it’s rumbling like that...? Is it cursed or something...? I swear, this would be a non-issue if we had an incinerator...</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> [strictly] Chad?</p><p><b>Chad:</b> Yeah?</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> If I <em>do</em> happen to read that book...then <em>please</em> slap me as hard as you can.</p><p><b>Chad:</b> [worried] What? But I don’t--</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> [talking like a drill sergeant] Don’t make excuses with me! You <em>will</em> slap me across the face if I get my hands on that book! Is! That! <em>Clear</em>?!</p><p><b>Chad:</b> [shuddering and blushing]...Understood.</p><p><b>Nigel: </b>[softly kissing Chad’s nose] Thank you, Chad.</p><p><em>[</em> <em>The book in Chad’s hand rumbles, but Chad is too dazed to notice or care]</em></p><p><b>Chad:</b> [lovestruck] Wow...that was <em>nice</em>...[shakes his head]...Right! I’ll see what I can do about this book!</p><p>
  <em>[Chad heads upstairs. Nigel stretches a bit and lies down on the sofa as he turns the television off]</em>
</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> He’s probably right. I shouldn’t meddle with forces I can’t comprehend. [yawns] Wow, that meal made me sleepy...maybe I should... [slowly closing his eyes]...take a nap...</p><p>
  <em>[Cut to: the living room, ten minutes later. Nigel is sleeping peacefully...until he suddenly opens his eyes and sits up]</em>
</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> [mumbling] I must...read that book...</p><p>
  <em>[He stumbles upstairs to Chad’s room and opens the door. Chad is sleeping soundly on his bed]</em>
</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> Yes, orange bird, it <em>was</em> a good idea for us to not have locks on our doors...</p><p>
  <em>[Nigel heads toward Chad’s bookshelf and takes out the Rainbow Monkey comic book that was hiding among Chad’s books. Nigel then stumbles to his own room and closes the door]</em>
</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> This book is good...I must read it...</p><p><em>[Nigel opens the book to the first page. He then blinks his eyes and wakes up...only to find that he’s looking right at the book’s contents. Nigel pales and </em> <em>quickly averts his eyes from the book]</em></p><p><b>Nigel:</b> No...! I told Chad that I wouldn’t...! [looking back at the book] But curiosity is...getting the better of me... [shutting his eyes and looking away] No, you <em><b>idiot</b></em>! You! Promised! Chad! That! You! <em><b>Wouldn’t! </b></em></p><p>
  <em>[A tense silence fills the room. After thirty painfully long seconds, Nigel reopens his eyes and slowly returns his gaze to the book]</em>
</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> Um...well...maybe <em>one</em> page wouldn’t--</p><p>
  <em>[Cut to: Chad’s room. Chad is happily napping in his bed...until he hears Nigel’s screaming, which makes the teen wake up in panic]</em>
</p><p><b>Chad:</b> Nigel! [getting up] Don’t worry, kid! I’m on my way!</p><p>
  <em>[Chad enters Nigel’s room, and gasps when he sees Nigel reading the book with a fearful yet curious look on his face. Chad instantly yanks the book out of Nigel’s hands, but Nigel’s expression doesn’t change. Chad grabs Nigel by the collar and slaps him in the face, which makes Nigel snap out of it]</em>
</p><p><b>Nigel: </b>[rubbing his cheek]...Okay, I <em>really</em> needed that slap in the face. Thank you.</p><p><b>Chad: </b>[shaking Nigel by the shoulders] You <em>idiot</em>! I <em>told you</em> not to read that book! I <em>told you</em> that the book could have stuff that we weren’t meant to see! What in Zero’s name compelled you to read it?!</p><p><b>Nigel:</b>...My curiosity and desire for knowledge, I suppose. [sadly] I’m sorry, Chad. I shouldn’t have--</p><p><b>Chad:</b> [softly] Ssh. That’s enough, okay? [pulling Nigel into a hug] I’m just...[kissing Nigel’s cheek]...glad that you’re safe.</p><p><b>Nigel: </b>[happily returning the hug] Chad...</p><p><em>[</em> <em>The book </em> <em>suddenly</em> <em> starts rumbling </em> <em>heavily</em> <em>, which </em> <em>causes Nigel and Chad to instinctively hold each other tighter]</em></p><p><b>Chad:</b> Okay, that book needs to be destroyed right <em>now</em>. [giving Nigel a squeeze] Hey, Nigel, do you you want to see me destroy this book? [Nigel nods] Okay, then...[reluctantly letting go of Nigel]...here I go! [cracking his knuckles] You’ll pay for this, book!</p><p>
  <em>[Chad tries to tear the comic to shreds, but to no avail]</em>
</p><p><b>Chad: </b>What’s this...book made out of?! Diamonds?!</p><p>
  <em>[He tries to slam the book on the floor, but still the book remains undamaged. Chad takes a moment to catch his breath]</em>
</p><p><b>Chad:</b> That book really <em>is</em> cursed! I even tried throwing water on it, but--</p><p><b>Nigel:</b>...Chad?</p><p><b>Chad:</b> [softly] Yeah?</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> I’m really sorry for reading that book...</p><p><b>Chad:</b> You already apologized, stupid. And besides, it’s not your fault. Blame the book instead!</p><p><b>Nigel</b>: Okay. [smiling] Um, thank you again for slapping me, Chad. I probably would have remained frozen in shock forever if you didn’t intervene...</p><p><b>Chad:</b> [returning the smile] You would have done the same for me, Nigel. [pulling Nigel into a hug] You’re a really great kid, you know?</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> [hugging back] You’re really great too, Chad.</p><p><em>[The book</em> <em>s’ rumbling gets heavier...</em> <em>and then </em> <em>it</em> <em> suddenly shatters like glass, which startles the two out of their hug]</em></p><p><b>Nigel/Chad:</b> [looking around in a panic] What was that?!</p><p><em>[They notice that the dangerous comic book is now in literal pieces. Chad cautiously pokes the pieces of the book, but his touch just causes the book’s pieces to crumble into harmless dust. Nigel and Chad are left </em> <em>gaping]</em></p><p><b>Nigel:</b>...We gotta tell Numbuh Infinity.</p><p><b>Chad:</b> Agreed.</p><p>
  <em>[Cut to: the living room. Nigel and Chad have turned to Channel 275, which has returned to normal. The two are talking with an exhausted looking Numbuh Infinity]</em>
</p><p><b>Infinity:</b>...So that’s what happened...</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> [quietly] Yes. I never want to see a Rainbow Monkey again...</p><p><b>Infinity:</b> [sympathetically] Oh, I’m so sorry, Numbuh One. I accept full responsibility for this.</p><p><b>Chad: </b>What? No, sir, please--</p><p><b>Infinity:</b> [smiling sadly] It’s alright, Chad. I was...careless. I need to make sure no dangerous books fall into your hands ever again. [proudly] You two did a great job with destroying that book, by the way.</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> Thank you, sir, but...I think I’d rather stop talking about this...</p><p><b>Infinity:</b> I understand. I’ll leave you two alone, then. It is now safe to turn off the television.</p><p>
  <em>[Chad does so. Nigel sighs, which prompts Chad to rub Nigel’s back]</em>
</p><p><b>Chad:</b> You going to be alright?</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> I don’t even know anymore...</p><p><b>Chad:</b> [pulling Nigel into a hug] I feel the same way, kid.</p><p>
  <em>[Nigel happily returns the hug]</em>
</p><p><b>Chad:</b>...Hey, kid?</p><p><b>Nigel: </b>Yes?</p><p><b>Chad:</b> [sheepishly]...I ate your lunch. I...didn’t want you to eat lukewarm food.</p><p><b>Nigel:</b> [giving Chad a squeeze] Okay, then make my lunch again. And afterwards, I’m going to tie you to a chair and kiss you until you turn as red as Mars.</p><p><b>Chad:</b> [blushing happily] Sounds good.</p><p>End</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>-I ended up using that one scene from Wreck-it Ralph for reference.</p><p>In that scene, Felix and Calhoun are trapped in quicksand and must use Laffy Taffy vines to escape. Thing is, though, the vines only move closer to them when they see something funny, such as seeing Felix injured.<br/>Felix suggests that Calhoun punches him more to get the vines close enough so they can be free, but Calhoun is hesitant because she doesn't want to punch a sweet guy like him.<br/>It's only when Felix proves that he can heal himself (and when hitting him was the only way to escape) does she actually injure Felix more. Link:<br/>https://draqua.tumblr.com/post/45680067954/so-lets-talk-about-the-nesquick-sand-scene-in</p><p>-"Blame the book" and "You'll pay for this, book!" seem like good things to say when you're fighting book enemies in video games.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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